Let’s Seize Some Donald Trump Properties!

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(Photo by Ali Shaker/VOA)

Of course. As soon as we create a March bracket based on “Which Donald Trump Asset Seizures Will Tick Him Off The Most,” New York AG Tish James begins the process of seizing properties. Specifically, the Seven Springs estate in Westchester.

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But we are not deterred because this bracket isn’t about which ones the state will seize but which one will piss him off. We got off to a great start with the Golf Course region. Now we move to the Hotels and Estates region (where, as it happens, we’ll find Seven Springs).

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Voting on this (and all the regions) will continue until Friday, March 29 at 9:00 am Eastern.

(1) Mar-a-Lago v. (8) Seven Springs

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The original owner of Mar-a-Lago bequeathed it to the United States government to be used as a Winter White House. The various presidents throughout this period collectively said, “no one with the dignity befitting a president would ever hang out in a place this chintzy.” Today, Donald Trump lives there. It has a minor flooding problem, but only when evidence needs to be quickly destroyed.

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I really should’ve finagled Seven Springs to be a 7 seed, but it’s actually fitting that the property least deserving of the “tick him off” mantle is the one the AG’s office is actually considering seizing. Proof that they probably are not going about this in an unnecessarily spiteful manner.

Click HERE to vote.

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(2) Trump International Hotel & Tower Chicago v. (7) Albemarle Estate, Charlottesville

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Trump uses “International Hotel & Tower” multiple times so we need to clarify that this is the one befouling the riverwalk area of Chicago. The Trump Organization says of the property, “A showcase of bold style and engaging design situated along the Chicago River, Trump Chicago has become one of the city’s most enviable addresses.” One of? It’s a sales pitch. You can just go ahead and say it is the most enviable address.

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Albemarle is the centerpiece of Trump winery. Did you know Trump had a winery? He does! The estate is also located in Charlottesville, Virginia making it a lovely destination for his followers the next time they want to pull the tiki torches out the of shed.

Click HERE to vote.

(3) Trump Hotel Vegas v. (6) Trump Hollywood

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Donald Trump used to fancy himself a casino guy. But his Atlantic City empire crashed and burned so now he has to settle for a slice of the Vegas skyline that’s tacky even by Vegas standards. It’s also a non-gaming hotel in case you ever wanted to go to Las Vegas to sit in 110 degree heat for no reason. If you’re not gambling, you could just as easily have gone to Phoenix.

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Not the real Hollywood. The one in Florida instead. Fun fact: This was originally going to be the Trump Waikiki property, which is still proudly listed on the Trump Organization website. But it appears as though Hilton bought it already.

Click HERE to vote.

(4) Le Chateau Des Palmiers, St. Martin v. (5) Trump Residences Bali

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Honestly, I don’t know if he still even owns this joint. His website says he does, describing it thusly:

Bought in 2013 by Donald J. Trump, and located in Terres Basses in French St. Martin, Chateau des Palmiers is a breathtaking beachfront estate in an exclusive gated enclave. With a 6 -bedroom ocean side villa and a 4 bedroom garden side villa, the chateau is perched on the beach of Plum Bay, known for its white sand and perfectly rolling waves.

But he made a big show of trying to sell it several years ago. And then swiftly had to slash the price because no one was interested. But we couldn’t have a seizure bracket without some Caribbean property.

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You know what country doesn’t have an extradition treaty with the United States? Asking for a former president.

Click HERE to vote.

Which means…

Earlier: Which Donald Trump Asset Seizures Will Tick Him Off The Most: A Bracket

Joe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search.

Topics

Donald Trump, Government, Legal Madness, March Madness