Love Unrequited On Valentine’s Day? The Justice Department Has Some Just Deserts

// The Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms (ATF) division of the Justice Department is inviting people to send love to their exes in the most “He’s broke, I’m up” way possible on this blessed Valentine’s Day.

Valentine's Day can still be fun even if you broke up. Do you have information about a former (or current) partner involved in illegal gun activity? Let us know, and we will make sure it's a Valentine's Day to remember! Call 1-888-ATF-TIPS or email [email protected]. pic.twitter.com/OdDIPdIzkr

— ATF HQ (@ATFHQ) February 14, 2022

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As a person who openly classifies Law and Order as copaganda even I can admit this is pretty funny. Not funny in that haha way, but funny in that you’ve got to respect a government that openly turns a holiday about love into an opportunity to revenge arrest past lovers. My heart sang with joy when I got to see a very strong “This you?” post directly under the ATF’s cute call for snitchery.

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Hi yes I'd like to report this pic.twitter.com/hL1I5K7PLy

— GrugMan (@grugmanntf2) February 14, 2022

For you happy couples out there celebrating today, I am so happy for you. I pray that you cherish this togetherness in your cute little homes with white picket fences and vintage Pyrex. To the folks who are alone and fine by themselves and totally not bitter, join me in listening to Trilogy by The Weeknd on repeat.

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…Maybe I will use the ATF hotline.

ATF: Help Us Give Your Law-Breaking Ex ‘A Valentine’s Day to Remember!’ [CNS News]

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Chris Williams became a social media manager and assistant editor for Above the Law in June 2021. Prior to joining the staff, he moonlighted as a minor Memelord™ in the Facebook group Law School Memes for Edgy T14s.  He endured Missouri long enough to graduate from Washington University in St. Louis School of Law. He is a former boatbuilder who cannot swim, a published author on critical race theory, philosophy, and humor, and has a love for cycling that occasionally annoys his peers. You can reach him by email at [email protected] and by tweet at @WritesForRent.

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ATF, Government, Holidays and Seasons, Revenge Reporting, Valentine's Day