Mike Lindell And Alan Dershowitz Sue FBI For Unconstitutional Pillow Phone Violations

(Photo by JIM WATSON/AFP via Getty Images)

After Mike Lindell got his phone seized at a Hardee’s drive through in Mankato, Minnesota, the Pillow Puffer promised to bring the hammer down on the whole Biden administration.

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“You’re hearing it here first, everybody. We’re suing the United States government and the FBI. And this isn’t just to get the phone back. This is my First, Fourth, and Fifth Amendment rights were broken and the Constitutional right [sic],” he shouted during his regular on-air therapy session with Steve Bannon.

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“We’re not going to put up with this. We’re not going to be the Gestapo like in Nazi Germany. We’re being pro-active,” he went on, promising to “go places where no man has gone before.”

And in that, he delivered bigly.

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Yesterday Lindell filed a batguano insane lawsuit in the District Court of Minnesota alleging that the FBI engaged in grievous violations of his First, Fourth, Fifth, and Sixth Amendment rights.

Lindell, who spent the past three years promising to overturn President Biden’s 2020 electoral win, characterizes the warrant as “simply another technique employed by Defendants to deter Plaintiff and those who act in concert with him from exercising their constitutional rights guaranteed by the First Amendment.”

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He suspects that the government violated his Fourth Amendment rights by putting a GPS tracker on his car.

Mr. Lindell did not at any time prior to being detained inform Defendants where he was going, that he was hunting, the route he would drive back from hunting, or the fact that he made an impromptu stop at the fast food restaurant. Upon information and belief, Defendants would have had no idea of Mr. Lindell’s whereabouts. Upon information and belief, Defendants used cell site location information or a tracking device to locate and track Mr. Lindell without first securing a warrant for that purpose.

And he accuses the government of misconduct because it (presumably) failed to inform US Magistrate Judge Tony Leung that Lindell spends eleventy-seven hours a day attempting to subvert the electoral process.

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In applying for the issuance of the Warrant, the Department failed to apprise Magistrate Judge Leung of Mr. Lindell’s role in attempting to uncover violations of federal and Colorado election record retention statutes and the fact that he communicated with his lawyers about these matters. It also failed to appraise the Magistrate Judge of the subpoena it intended to serve on Plaintiffs.

Also he’s big mad that the agents didn’t Mirandize him when they blocked his car in and asked him questions about indicted Colorado elections official Tina Peters before telling him they had a warrant to seize his device.

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In what appears to be an effort to elicit allegedly incriminating evidence from Mr. Lindell, the federal agents then began questioning him about a variety of topics relating to Dominion Voting Systems, Tina Peters, Colorado incidents, Doug Frank, information posted on Plaintiff’s media platform, FrankSpeech.com, Dominion’s Trusted Build software update that destroyed election records, his travel on his airplane throughout the Country and to Colorado, and other matters. These questions lasted approximately 25-30 minutes.

Last week, Lindell told Bannon that he spent this time “witnessing to the FBI guys” about the twin gospels of Chinese election hacking via Bluetooth thermostats and Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. So assuming this is an accurate representation of events, evidence of this failed attempt at proselytization may well be excluded from any future criminal prosecution. But as of now, it appears to be largely irrelevant, as is much of Lindell’s carping about the unfairness of the FBI refusing his request to make a backup copy of his phone before it was seized and blocking his attempt to contact his lawyer before surrendering the device. Don’t try this while Black, kids!

Lindell’s distinguished counsel on this clown suit includes Minnesota attorney Andrew Parker, who represents Lindell on various election matters, including his pending case against the January 6 Select Committee, MAGA lawyer/troll Kurt Olsen, who repped Texas AG Ken Paxton in his Supreme Court LOLsuit against seven swing states to invalidate their electoral votes and attempted to pressure the Justice Department to sign onto a similar complaint, and Alan Dershowitz, who has lots of time on his hands now since no one on Martha’s Vineyard will invite him to brunch.

In light of their very seriously pled Constitutional claims, they’d like the court to declare that Lindell’s rights were grievously violated, order the government to give back his phone and destroy any of the data collected from it, and unseal the affidavit, ’cause all the cool kids are doing that these days.

The case has been assigned to US District Judge Eric Tostrud, a Trump appointee but not an absolute bloody lunatic like his Federalist Society colleague in Florida.

God speed, Pillow Man. And God grant us each someone in our lives who loves us enough to stop us if we ever think of filing anything this bloody embarrassing.

Lindell v. US [Docket via Court Listener]

 

 

Topics

Alan Dershowitz, Andrew Parker, Department of Justice, Eric Tostrud, Government, Kurt Olsen, Mike Lindell