Oh, Now Everybody Wants To Be A Lawyer

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Should I go to law school?

Law school applications have been down about 5% recently, but that’s not stopping people from playing lawyer without a degree. Let’s not forget what anyone who’s been on legal Twitter knows all too well — layfolks watch a few episodes of TV and are ready to go toe to toe with some of the best in the field.

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May the forces be with Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson, Supreme Court nominee being questioned.

The Senator:
“I am not a lawyer, but I watch ‘Law and Order’ from time to time.”—Senator Thom Tillis pic.twitter.com/UgOYyaAEvY

— Dr. Malinda S. Smith (@MalindaSmith) March 23, 2022

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This doesn’t just go for senators and sovereign citizens — celebrities like to give their two cents on legal matters too. Given the very high-profile assault and battery that happened at the Oscars this past weekend, there is only one real concern on everyone’s mind. No, not the ice cap the size of New York that crumbled from Antarctic heat the day before the slap heard round the world. Everyone needs to know where Ja is!

Thankfully, the celebrities have rushed in to analyze the event and think on our behalf.  O.J. Simpson, himself no stranger to an assault charge or two, offered his counsel pro bono to Mr. Smith on how to go about… err, defending one’s wife.

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He was wrong but I understand the sentiment. pic.twitter.com/aURe1pyubg

— O.J. Simpson (@TheRealOJ32) March 29, 2022

Some celebrity snarkiness has proven that while most Twitter users are not attorneys or paralegals, they’ve got the discovery process on lock.

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Mess with Will Smith and it’s gonna cost you: A thread, first up we have Zoe kravitz, could’ve posted her ugly dress without the caption and called it a day I think. Even Lenny catching strays pic.twitter.com/Slezf6zic2

— Cherise⁷ 🤍 zeinab day (@SLIMJIMMIIE) March 29, 2022

I can almost hear Sen. Josh Hawley asking Kravitz for her thoughts on what the sentencing guidelines on grooming ought to be.

zoe kravitz also a predator btw pic.twitter.com/LlZeqvTP5j

— BIRACIALS OUT ❌ (@ohmygrluvr) March 29, 2022

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It got really bad, really quickly. Maybe Alec Baldwin should have considered the optics of getting on the moral high horse? Easier target when you’re elevated above the crowd and all.

Next we have murder Alec Baldwin who has a lot to say when he should be focused on his pending court trial pic.twitter.com/b3tKKAXowz

— Cherise⁷ 🤍 zeinab day (@SLIMJIMMIIE) March 29, 2022

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We know that Chris Rock’s response was not to press charges. Shannon Sharpe however, is just built different. While he might not have pressed charges, he definitely sang the praises of trial by combat.

My final thought on the #Oscars and the #WillAndChris situation. @ShannonSharpe said it best. Will Smith was so far over the line. Ain’t no way you can convince me otherwise. pic.twitter.com/ZyN0CwP7ve

— Jay Dee (@JayDeegg) March 29, 2022

And to be clear, I’m not pro-slap. But that’s also irrelevant. The wildest thing is how quickly this led to dirt being dug up on everybody. I’m talking 50 years ago dirt.

1973: Native American actor Sacheen Littlefeather boo'd (and cheered) by Hollywood at the Oscars before being mocked by Clint Eastwood and almost physically assaulted by John Wayne simply for asking that Indigenous people not to be dehumanized in film.pic.twitter.com/BgOiuBq4hR

— Rafael Shimunov (@rafaelshimunov) October 11, 2021

In closing, this is a great reminder that not everyone should be taking part in the verbal fray. Considering how hard random celebrities who aren’t Kareem Abdul-Jabbar got hit with strays, maybe we all should leave his wife’s name out of their mouths. And if you court danger and decide not to heed Ali’s advice, you better learn how to dodge a wrench.

One thing about me, imma keep Will Smiths wife’s name out of my mouth pic.twitter.com/S16ffeFWSr

— michelle (@mchelledicaprio) March 28, 2022

Chris Williams became a social media manager and assistant editor for Above the Law in June 2021. Prior to joining the staff, he moonlighted as a minor Memelord™ in the Facebook group Law School Memes for Edgy T14s.  He endured Missouri long enough to graduate from Washington University in St. Louis School of Law. He is a former boatbuilder who cannot swim, a published author on critical race theory, philosophy, and humor, and has a love for cycling that occasionally annoys his peers. You can reach him by email at [email protected] and by tweet at @WritesForRent.

Topics

Chris Rock, Entertainment Law, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Law Schools, O.J. Simpson, Oscars, Shannon Sharpe, Will Smith, Zoë Kravitz