Picking Up The Practice Of Asking For And Accepting Feedback

Businessman hand giving five star rating, Feedback concept‘Tis the season for resolutions and self-improvement, am I right? If you’re looking for a little habit to pick up for the new year that can have a huge impact on your professional (or personal) development, consider picking up the practice of asking for and accepting feedback.

While I don’t think this is necessarily an exclusively in-house counsel phenomenon, I have personally found that asking for and accepting feedback can be transformational for your career. It certainly has for mine.

And while this may sound like something very obvious, my personal observation tells me that few actually proactively ask for candid, informal feedback, and even if they do, they only ask from their direct supervisor — and when feedback is received, do very little with it.

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So here are my three steps to picking up the practice of asking for and accepting feedback so that you can effectively harness it for your own growth.

Step One: Get Comfortable With The Ask

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I get it — asking for feedback can be scary. It requires a certain amount of vulnerability, and there may be things that you don’t want to hear. Asking for feedback includes the inherent admission that you’re not perfect. But isn’t that a given? That we can all do better, even if we do well? And if you remember your why in asking for feedback (that you want the information — good, bad, or ugly — so you can grow), it can actually empower you to ask. Think of it as a “power up” — that mushroom that makes you grow in size in Super Mario Brothers (yes, I’m dating myself with this reference, but it works).

Also consider how you ask — whether it will be in person or over email (may take some of the awkwardness out) and what you’re specifically asking for — whether it is generally how you executed on a project and how you could have done better or maybe you’re looking for specific feedback on your communication style or project management skills.

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Step Two: Ask Broadly And Generously

Once you’re comfortable with your why and know what feedback you’re looking for, consider expanding who you ask. We often have tunnel vision when it comes to this and only ask our direct supervisor or manager, or want to manage up. While their opinion is certainly important, don’t discount getting feedback from your internal business clients, your colleagues, or teammates (including nonlawyers) and those who may report to you, like paralegals or administrative staff. Candor may be difficult to glean, depending on the power dynamic, but it’s still worth the ask. Consider asking former managers and colleagues who may be more likely to be candid with you.

Step Three: Take Action

This last step may be the hardest part. Once you receive feedback (and have profusely expressed your gratitude to those who have given it), you have to do something with it. My suggestion is to let it marinate a bit. If you like the feedback, it’s too easy to pat yourself on the back and not delve deeper — deepening your confirmation bias about yourself. If you don’t like the feedback, it’s also too easy to be defensive and disregard it or the person who gave it to you. I don’t necessarily think that all of it needs to be treated like gospel. At the same time, even if you disagree with it, feedback should be viewed as a gift — the gift of information that you can use for you.

It’s probably helpful to have a tangible example. About three years ago, one of my colleagues gave me feedback on my use of self-deprecating humor. She had observed me in three business meetings and actually shared unsolicited feedback that my repeated use of self-deprecation undermined my credibility. And while it was hard to hear, it was something with which I had no self-awareness, and I was so grateful that she brought it to my attention so I could do something about it.  That’s how having a practice of asking for or at least accepting (even unsolicited) feedback can be so powerful for your professional development.

Meyling Mey Ly OrtizMeyling “Mey” Ly Ortiz is in-house at Toyota Motor North America. Her passions include mentoring, championing belonging, and a personal blog: TheMeybe.com. At home, you can find her doing her best to be a “fun” mom to a toddler and preschooler and chasing her best self on her Peloton. You can follow her on LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/meybe/). And you knew this was coming: her opinions are hers alone.

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In-House Counsel, Meyling "Mey" Ly Ortiz


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Originally posted on: https://abovethelaw.com/2022/01/picking-up-the-practice-of-asking-for-and-accepting-feedback/