// Breaking news! There is now a reason to talk about needing a lawyer dog that isn’t recalling that one time Louisiana’s cartoonish racism played coy to deny the right to counsel. Aurora City has just passed a law targeting cats, ferrets, hamsters, and others, the goodest bois among them. Along with limiting the number of pets a household can have to two (unless they fill out and submit an application to the city’s animal control), the law imposes fines on those whose companions really need to let the moon know that it is seen and valued at odd hours.

The owner of animals that are making “excessive noise” for more than 15 minutes at a time between the hours of 7 a.m. and 10 p.m. could receive a $100 ticket.

From the hours of 10:01 p.m. to 6:59 a.m, animals cannot make “excessive noise” for more than 10 minutes.

Complaints of “excessive noise” must be captured by audio or video, made by two individuals from different households, or made by one individual but later backed up by authorities, according to the report.

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My first concern was that this law was a clear 1st Amendment violation until my colleague Staci Zaretsky reminded me that the Founding Fathers probably did not intend for freedom of speech to apply to pups. I was also concerned about speaking for others — I would not want my privileged status as a human to color a narrative that they themselves should be spearheading. Luckily, I was able to contact a Chicago canine representative named Peaches who was willing to share their thoughts on the new law.

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“Bark bark, Bark BARK bark bark bark.”

Truer words have never been spoken.

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Chicago Suburb Passes Law Limiting How Much Dogs Can Bark [FOX]

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Chris Williams became a social media manager and assistant editor for Above the Law in June 2021. Prior to joining the staff, he moonlighted as a minor Memelord™ in the Facebook group Law School Memes for Edgy T14s.  He endured Missouri long enough to graduate from Washington University in St. Louis School of Law. He is a former boatbuilder who cannot swim, a published author on critical race theory, philosophy, and humor, and has a love for cycling that occasionally annoys his peers. You can reach him by email at [email protected] and by tweet at @WritesForRent.

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Animals, Aurora City, Chicago, Government, Illinois, Nuisance Law